About Me

A first time mum blogging the journey.

Monday, 10 December 2012

Not all pregnancies are perfect.

Listening to BBC Radio 2 today has inspired this post on how not all pregnancies are easy. Today, Jeremy Vine has been talking about difficult pregnancies and the guilt many women feel about not enjoying pregnancy.  'Royal morning sickness' has been the trigger of this discussion and as we have all seen in the news the Duchess has been suffering from severe morning sickness.

There is a lot of media portrayal of blooming pregnant women.  Celebrities out and about in heels when 40 weeks pregnant, glowing and looking glamorous.  Lets face it, no body wants to hear you moan at the best of times, and when you are pregnant there is a lot to moan about.  We are in an age where women do it all; work and have children, that alone is a lot of pressure.  I think a lot of women feel they have to do both perfectly to justify working, i.e they need to cope with both to prove they deserve to be at work too.  In my posts on the three trimesters I covered some of the discomforts I faced, such as backache, heartburn, swollen feet and queasiness.  During the second trimester, women are supposed to enter the elusive glowing phase of pregnancy, when morning sickness has finished and your body has adjusted to being pregnant.  This glowing phase is in fact due to having more blood in your body, giving you glowing red cheeks.  It is true morning sickness usually comes to an end, thus you feel a lot better.  My second trimester was plagued by severe backache, it wasn't until the baby had dropped down near the end of pregnancy that backache ended and I felt energetic, blooming and happy.

Glowing or ghastly?

The most important thing you can do during pregnancy is take care of yourself, by taking care of yourself you are taking care of your baby.  My partner would bring me fruit first thing in the morning and weird pregnancy cravings last thing at night (I ate a lot of gherkin sandwiches!).  He helped me carry things that were heavy.  Encouraged me to nap. All in all he was the biggest support I had.  It's important to talk to people when you are pregnant, especially your partner, family and friends.  Tell them how you are feeling, physically and emotionally.  Get help with housework and shopping bags, tell employers if you have morning sickness and most importantly tell your midwife any discomforts you may have.  

Every pregnancy is different.  Just because you had some discomforts with one pregnancy doesn't mean it will be the same with another.  If your first pregnancy is putting you off having another baby, try talking to your Doctor.

At the risk of this sounding a bit gloomy I must say some women thrive off pregnancy and have very positive birth experiences.  I think how you deal with pregnancy is partly to do with your situation and state of mind, however when it comes down to it some women are just lucky!  If you are one of the lucky ones let me know, I love to hear  positive pregnancy stories.  

One of the positives from my pregnancy was the baby moving.  It felt very empowering feeling this tiny person connected to me, inside me.  This kicking was only for me.  Sometimes I would be talking to someone and could feel the baby moving inside.  You get used to this feeling and often acknowledge it but say nothing.

Everyone has heard of post-natal depression, however pre-natal depression is also very common and just as serious.  It is quite isolating being pregnant, you have a rush of new hormones and it's a very difficult journey.  Nine months of constant change.  This can lead to feelings of depression.  This is why it is important to talk to people while you are pregnant, a lot of women feel the same way, you are not alone.  

I guess the real point of this post is that pregnancy is hard.  Bloody hard.  But how could something so amazing happen without a little struggle? And.....it is oh so worth it.          

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